How long more will you hold on to the hurt and pain you've experienced in the past? You're scared u won’t be able to let anyone into your heart. The moment someone shows a sign of interest, you immediately cut them off. Why? Because you're trying to guard your heart from hurt. You really cannot handle anymore heart break- "I just might lose myself completely". The moment you think you like someone, the hurt and thought of being hurt by them overwhelms you. You cannot open up to guys because they wouldn’t understand, and nobody wants a girl with such issues.
Trust God is working on you and trust in His process.
I know you're scarred. You think you won’t be able to love someone with all your heart due to fear of being hurt. But, after the rain, there is always sunshine.